VULNERABILITY: DON'T GET CUFFED BY THE COMFORT ZONE
"I don't want all them people looking at me!"
It's October! So I want to get real spooky with ya'll on this here blog. For the rest of this month, I'll be talking about some of the things that scare me. I know what you're thinking right now, "Damn Brit, I thought you was a real gangsta. Gangstas don't get scared." Hold on homie, let me explain...
I'm a pretty outgoing person. I always have been...around my family. Most people didn't even know I could talk until I was 15. That's a little bit of an exaggeration but you know what I mean. I had to pick and choose who I showed my personality around. Because if anyone knew how silly I was or that I liked to dress up as different characters and perform for my family, they would make fun of me and I'd be the weird girl with the glasses.
I've always felt so awkward being the center of attention. Something about it gave me the creeps. And sometimes it still does. Everyone has their eyes on me, expecting something. Maybe expecting me to be great, maybe expecting me to mess up or maybe expecting me to make them laugh, which is something I've always said that I wouldn't let happen, until last weekend...
DUN DUN DUNNNN...
I faced my ultimate fear of doing a stand up comedy set. Where people were there, expecting me to make them laugh. Now, I've been on stage hosting before but that was different. When I'm hosting, I get to focus the attention on the next act, maybe throw in a joke or two but it's not always necessary.
Luckily, I didn't bomb on my first time and I did get some chuckles from the audience.
At the end of my set, I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. Not because my brother had been telling me that I needed to try it at least once, for years. Not because most people that follow me on social media thought that I did it anyway. And not because my friend invited me to do it and I didn't want to not show up. It was because I overcame my fear of being VULNERABLE. That moment allowed to accept that "Yes, I can make people laugh", "Yes, I can step outside of my comfort zone and get comfortable". I feel like I've gained a new strength to push myself, not just in my art, but in my everyday life.
Listen up, the moral of the story is, we don't always have to try protect ourselves from the unknown. Sometimes, in order to step into something great, we have to take the mask off, put the weapons down and just let it happen and be VULNERABLE. (Ooh that sounded kinda deep, didn't it? Imma go on Oprah.)
I'm still not shooting my shot though. I ain't THAT vulnerable.
Ya'll pray for me, I'm a work in progress.
-BRIT