POTENTIAL OR PATHETIC
"He has potential, give him a chance"
"That's a small thing, he'll grow out of it"
"You're asking for too much"
Now, if you can remember, a few blogs back, I expressed my disinterest in being a step mama or baby mama. While that is in fact on the top of my list of don'ts, that does not mean that I'm willing to settle for everything else. I know what you're thinking, "Here goes Brit with another one of those girly dating rants" but hear me out, I won't keep you long, sit down.
Let me start by saying this, I understand the drought. I know how it feels to go weeks, months, years, without a real date or a relationship. In that time, you grow board, you get lonely and you may even make some bad decisions. However, I think it's important that we stay true to our own desires of our heart and to remember the the things that we will and wont allow in our intimate relationships. After all, we don't want to end up in the same raggedy situation as before.
I'll give you an example: I don't really care for my current job. I'm looking for a new job. There are certain things that I need this new job to have in order for me to be happy with it. Things such as, flexibility, good compensation, good location, etc. I've been seeing positions that offer the compensation but not the flexibility, or the flexibility but it's too far. Or it has all of these things, but I wouldn't like the job duties. If I were to accept a position knowing that I wouldn't be happy, that would defeat the purpose of my entire job search.
Ya hear me knockin? Well, let me in.
I used to find myself feeling guilty about my strong desires, the things that I wanted, what I needed. You know how it is being a strong, virtuous woman, you not trying to be out here looking like no punk. (She gone cry in the car)
In reality, I believe that it shows maturity when you know what you want and you're not willing to settle for anything less. Hell, I want the flowers, the candy, the random date nights. Sweep a sista off of her feet. Don't hurt your back though, I ain't skinny.
Look, I know what the Facebook memes and statuses with the all the emojis tell you, "Respect a man that's trying" or "If you can't handle him at his brokest, you don't deserve him at his richest" or "Put up with dude, everybody else is taken".
Listen, we have to understand the difference between potential and pathetic. Potential is Nas back in 1994 when he first got on with the chipped tooth, but we knew he had the potential to be the delicious looking man that he is today. Pathetic is the brotha who's not man enough to take you out but will text "wyd" 5 times a day.
Listen, ya'll know how the saying goes "You can't change nobody that don't want to change themselves". All you can do is change the way you deal with that person. My suggestion? Gone on about your business.
The moral of the story is, don't cheat yourself, Treat yourself.