YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE, YOU'RE JUST BORED.

"I can't stop thinking about you", "Why do I miss you so much?", "What's wrong with me?", "Oh Lord, I think I done fell in love real quick"

Guys, on the count of three, we're all going to chill the eff out. Ready? One. Two. Three. Deep breath in, and let it go. Now, ya'll know I'm not one to coat things in sugar, so of course, I'm going to keep it real. What if I told you, you're not in love, you're just extremely bored and vulnerable. Hold on, sit back down, just hear me out real quick.

Now, before you get mad, this post is not intended to criticize your current relationship. So let's get those panties or briefs out of a bunch right now. This post is however, intended to maybe make you see things in a different light.

Let's face it. If you're in your mid to late twenties or even early to mid thirties, you may be giving "settling down" more and more thought. You're seeing people around you build serious relationships and families and the thought of having your own crosses your mind way more than you would like to admit. It's cool fam. You can want love. Everybody does. You ain't that damn gangsta. And if you're anything like me, you may go from thinking "Man, I want to be married" one moment, to "I don't need no distractions, let's just go to this day party and get drunk" the next moment. It's an emotional roller coaster and that's perfectly normal. I've had this conversation with lots of my peers so I know I am not the only one.

BE CAREFUL THO: I can admit, I've found myself dealing with people and situations that I don't have no business dealing with. I've found myself being way too emotionally open and available without even knowing that I was. The thing is, I knew damn well, that I would not be putting up with this if it wasn't for me being bored. I know, it sounds harsh but we've all been there.

Let me break it down: You reach a point in your life when you're ready for some stability. You're tired of hopping from job to job. Apartment to apartment. City to city. Person to person. You just want that feeling of security SOMEWHERE. So here you are at this plateau where you feel like nothing is moving anymore. Where is the excitement? Then, just when your down and feening for a thrill, you meet someone. Suddenly, you're reminded of how that newness feels, how exciting it is. Then, that someone starts to do a lot of ish that really grinds your gears, pisses you off, makes you crazy. You know those things are your deal breakers, but you put up with it anyway, because hey, you're not doing $h!+ else, right? The person you really want hasn't come through yet and this is just... (drum roll please) Something to do. Iyanla Vanzant would call it your "Meantime". (Great book by the way, you should check it out). The problem is, if we don't understand that these situations are not meant to be long term, we could be opening the door to some emotional damage. Real talk. And I ain't got time to be calling ya'll crying at 2AM. Hell, I gotta work in the morning.

Listen, the moral of the story is, don't settle. There's a difference between love and boredom. You know it when you see it, you just have to admit it when you do. While you over there arguing with Tisha, Britney is really the one you supposed to be with. While you fighting with Damon, James is over here ready to sweep you off of your feet. I'm just saying.

But what do I know? I'm just a blogger.

-BRIT