IF YOU ALLOW IT, THEY GONE DO IT

"I just don't understand why they treat me like that"
"This job got me messed up"
"I thought that was supposed to be my friend"

Aight. Last week we talked about how important friendships were as well as maintaining the ones you have. But this week, I ain't trying to be sweet. Hell, Valentine's day is NEXT month. Today, we need to discuss when it's the appropriate time to cut em' off! Ya'll hold on, I gotta go in my kitchen and pour some Henny with a lil chaser for this one...

Okay, I'm back... *takes sip* (whew! that hit me in my chest)

Listen, I know you're thinking that this is going to be some post about me hating everybody and kicking them out of my life. But, you're wrong. I don't have enough energy to hate anybody. (Accept for the dude that ate my frozen ice cream snickers out of MY freezer at a kickback I threw one time in 09. He was wrong.) I just wanna talk to ya'll real quick about choosing yourself first sometimes.

Peep this:

I remember when I first moved back home from LA. Almost immediately, I got a job at this weird call center. At first, it seemed like it would be all good. The hours weren't too bad, it wasn't far from home and the pay was pretty decent. There was only a small group of us on each shift and our supervisor was always in reach. One day, he called for a meeting about changing our script (what we used during phone calls). In this meeting, he asked me to read a part of the script aloud. I did. The way I read it wasn't good enough for him. He asked me to start over twice while constantly interrupting, berating and belittling me in front of my colleagues. And ya'll I can take a little constructive criticism, but he was out of pocket. I stopped and told him to have someone else to do it.

Ya'll know Britney ain't the one right?... Long story short, after the meeting, I pulled him to the side and expressed how disrespected I felt and that I could not continue to work for someone who conducts themselves in that manner. Of course he denied it. I gathered my things and left. If I stayed there and stayed silent, the behavior would of continued and in turn, brought out the worst in me.

*flips afro*

I see this happen in friendships too. You can be friends with someone for years and notice some foul behavior that they display. Now, if that's really your friend, the right thing to do is bring it to their attention (in love) and express how what they have done or are doing  is hurting your feelings, making you angry or uncomfortable. If you do this and start to see progress, great! But if you are constantly bumping heads with this person and ending up with the short end of the stick, it may be time to love them from a far. Unless, you really wanna fight them. I ain't got nothing to do with that. But do you homie, do you.

People only continue what you allow to happen.

Romantic relationships too. People always tell me "Damn Brit, you be hiring and firing em' ". Ya damn skippy, Shirley. If you don't wanna act right, somebody will. Why do I need to go through you standing me up for dates, unanswered phone calls and you hitting me up when you feel like it? When I can just EASILY delete the number and have more fun flirting with dudes on social media in they comments. Bye, fam.

People only continue what you allow to happen.

Look, we've all experienced at least one if not all of these scenarios in one way or another. But that doesn't mean that we let it scar us for life. I've had some horrible experiences with jobs. That didn't stop me from searching until I found a position that I was comfortable with. I've had people who I thought were my friends, hurt me. That doesn't stop me from building relationships with new folks. And I've DEFINITELY had my ups and downs with dating. But that's NOT about to make me believe that all men are trash. Hell, my brother just delivered he and his wife's own baby in a car last week! If I needed any reassurance that there were still any good men left, that was it!

The moral of the story is, sometimes you have to walk away from certain people and situations in order to keep your sanity. Sometimes, you walking away from them for a little while is the wake up call they needed. Do yourself a favor and don't allow people to treat you like trash. It brings out the worst in you. I don't want that job, that friend, that man/woman having you in the shower singing Fantasia ("If you don't want me, then don't talk to me!"), crying and getting soap in ya eyes. Love on you, a little more.

Imma go finish this drink, I'll see ya'll in February.

-BRIT