20 SOMETHING AND STRUGGLING
"Where you stay? Who you stay with?" Well see, I live back in St. Louis and I kind of stay with my mom. But I got all my furniture from my old apartment in my room, so I kind of got my own place, you feel me? I mean, I plan on moving out real soon. I still buy my own groceries. I mean, I wash my own clothes and pay my own bills and stuff. I'm not just completely dependent on my mom. I just live in her house and have her make all of my doctor's appointments. Besides that, I'm a grown woman and I don't need no help. At least that's what I tell myself in the mirror and maybe what I tell the nosy folks that want to know what I got going on these days.
Look, I'm gone keep it all the way real with ya'll. I'm 26 years old and I stay with my mama. Here's the thing, when I moved out last summer, I thought that was the end. I came home for two years, stacked my money, and left to go live my dream. So, in my mind, I was gone blow up within a year, get married to some rich, sexy black dude, move in with him, and be one of those fake power couples that ya'll make your relationship goals out of.
Not Quite.
I always get those Positive Pam's or Positive Patricia's or Helpful Henry's that want to see the bright side to everything. But damn, can I have a moment to be worn out? Let me at least flip over a few tables and chairs, throw a book at the wall, something. Yea, I'm grateful that I had somewhere to turn to after a traumatizing experience but here's what I miss about living alone:
1. I lived alone - Look, I'm a "to myself" type of person. Sometimes, I just don't want to be bothered. I appreciate those quiet moments alone in my drawls and t-shirt.
2. Drawls and T-shirts - Hey, I wish I could stay home in these all day, everyday and do nothing, but that's frowned upon. I have to get up and go to my job(s).
3. Why is there always cake? - Before I moved back home, I could fit my clothes. I never kept any sweets in my house, I was very active and always on the go. Now I eat cake for breakfast and I'm always in my room.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who is feeling the constant stings of the 20 something struggles. I feel like I should be making more money, I should be further in my career, I should be able to spend $200 in Whole Foods and not feel guilty about it later, I should be able walk around my own house in my booty shorts in the middle of the day.
But like all of my positive people always say, "You have to learn to love the journey". Of course we have those peers that we are looking at like dang, you doing good, I wanna be like you. Chances are, they are looking at someone else saying the same thing. Or, they're laughing at you and how horrible your life is right now. Either way, that doesn't change anything. That doesn't change the timing of your journey and the blessings to follow.
Moral of the story? I'm right there with you. Or I may be right there behind because my time hasn't come yet. But please believe, I am impatiently waiting on that moment. Ya'll know I'm gone post a video of me quitting my regular job when I blow up right?
Hang in there Homie.
-BRIT