Resons Why I`m Not Coming Over

I`m a homebody. I hate leaving my apartment. When I`m not with my apartment, I`m thinking about it. Sometimes, I call and text it to see what its doing while I`m away. That`s not weird at all, right?

I was never really big on sleepovers as a little girl. I mean, I didn`t mind my friends sleeping over my house but I never wanted to go over there. What if I get hungry in the middle of the night? I can`t just get up and go in your refrigerator. If want some juice, I have to ask you to get it for me. Why your mama keep it so cold in this house? I`m freezing in this thin little sheet that you gave me to wrap up in. Where do ya`ll keep the face towels? How am I supposed to dry off my hands in the bathroom? I thought everyone kept those cute paper towels by their bathroom sink. See? You don`t want me to spend the night.

This is the main reason why the roommate thing just isn`t my cup of tea. Been there, done that. Speaking of tea, I`ll always offer a warm cup with lemon and agave nectar upon entering my home. If I really like you, I`ll even add a shot of Hennessy in there for you. Ya`ll ain`t grown enough to kick it with me.

Moral of the story is, make your home enjoyable for others if you`re going to invite someone over. Don`t have me fishing for the extra toilet paper in the cabinets. Be ready and willing to set out that wifi password. Make sure you have extra blankets. Young man, put the toilet seat down. Sista, sweep up the weave in the bathroom. Let`s make this visit easy for everyone.

-BRIT